Summer Shitennou Style
by Clandestine Irise
Summary: PokeSpe AU- Laiceps Nomekop Universe: It's summer, and Green Oak is saying his prayers. Written for the oneshot contest at the PokeCommunity PokeSpe Fanclub.


**PokeCommunity PokeSpe FanClub- OneShot Writing Contest**

**Shitennou Summer**

As you know, it's the middle of summer. The characters decide to do some kind of summer related activity, such as a picnic, go to the beach, set off fireworks, or go to a festival.

****

"The weather-"

"-is obscenely warm. For the hundredth time, Red, I know."

"It's not warm, it's blazing hot! And why is your laptop out here on the balcony instead of inside in the lab?" Red all but shouted indignantly, fanning himself with his newspaper.

Green rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up further on his nose.

"It's too warm inside. And we all know the air conditioner broke down, don't we?"

"What are the women doing about it, that's what I'd like to know," Red grumbled, chugging down a glass of lemonade.

"Blue's gone to the mall-at least the air conditioner _there_ is working. As for the boss-"

He shrugged his shoulders elegantly. Red swore under his breath, refilling his glass.

"Why does it have to be so blinking hot? Why couldn't we go spend summer in Sinnoh, and wreak havoc over in Snowpoint? It would've been snowing there!"

"You complain when it's too warm, Red, and you complain when it's too cold."

"Which is why Spring and Autumn are fabulous! Want some?"

Green knew for a fact that Red liked his lemonade rather sour, so he declined and resumed typing on his laptop, munching on a sandwich and sipping chilled beer.

"Green, why can't we get someone to fix the air conditioner?"

"Because the boss likes it warm. I think she broke the air conditioner so that we, quote, can enjoy the summer heat too, unquote."

Red just buried his face in his sweaty hands.

#

CLUNK!

BAM!

SCREECH!

WHACK!

Green ignored resolutely the sound of Blue banging pots and pans in the kitchen while she cooked (microwaved) lunch- potato salad and chicken.

The chicken, Green felt, would probably be thrust unceremoniously into the thankfully-still-functioning fridge and left to freeze.

It was far too warm to eat freshly roasted chicken- he had the feeling that eating ice cream, cold cuts and cooling foods would sound appetizing to the rest of his housemates.

With the exception of Yellow, who basked in the glow of nature despite how terribly uncomfortable it made her subordinates.

Green sighed heavily, just as Red threw himself into the seat next to his friend, using an electric fan to cool himself.

"What's the freaking temperature?" he grumbled testily.

"Forty-one and a half degrees Celsius. It's expected to cool down tonight, though only by a degree or half."

Red scowled, his black hair plastering to his face with sweat much the same way Green's hair was stuck, rather uncomfortably, to the back of his neck.

"I'm sleeping in my boxers tonight, I tell you."

"Aye."

#

Green had taken to sleeping on the front lawn, an electric fan nicked from his sister's boyfriend providing him with minimal relief.

It was just far too stifling _warm_ in his room, even with the fans on at full.

And he had far more dignity than Red, who was sprawled out on the terrace in nothing but a pair of bright red boxers decorated with Pikachu.

Flopping around on the grass, he took a gulp of water from his water bottle, sighing heavily.

He knew for a fact that Blue was spending the night at Misty's place, which was usually cool and refreshing in such warm weather.

As for the blonde leader of the Shitennou…..

Well, frankly Green didn't really care.

Rolling over on the green grass, and probably effectively staining his shirt with grass stains, Green was lulled into a peaceful half-rest (which was as peaceful as one could get, with Red snoring away on the balcony above him).

He was nearly quite fully asleep, until the front gate was flung open with a giant bang.

Crap, Yellow was back.

Green heard her heels clack down the gravel path, her movements fluid and brisk.

"Good…..morning, I suppose, Miss Yellow."

Yellow grinned, flinging herself down on the grass next to him.

"It's one in the morning, so yeah, good morning to you too, Green! What's that humming noise I'm hearing?"

Green chortled, sitting up and wiping a hand through sweaty brown locks.

"That, milady, is Red snoring on the balcony."

Yellow giggled, kicking out her heels and stretching out on the grass like a cat. Her Pokemon were dozing in their Pokeballs, safe from the blazing heat and shivering cold of the elements.

"Anyway Green, I've got great news!"

"What is it, miss?"

Yellow beamed, flinging her arms around Green's sweaty neck.

"We're going on a trip to the beach!"

Green blinked rapidly, once, twice, three times.

There was only one thought in his mind.

_Oh shit_.

*

The next day, three incredibly grumpy, outrageously irritable criminals- and one incredibly cheerful, outrageously happy criminal mastermind- piled into a convertible, luggage thrust unceremoniously into the boot.

Yellow, clad in a bright blue sundress with her favourite straw hat, settled into the seat next to the driver's, beaming so happily it was unnerving.

Blue, clad in a tight white mini-dress, was seated in the seat behind Yellow's, fanning herself with a magazine. Next to her, Red wore a pinkish white singlet and black shorts.

And the unfortunate man in the driver's seat was none other than Green Oak, dressed in cargo pants, a grey singlet and sunglasses perched on his head.

"Okay, buckle up! The faster we get there, the better! We're going via the Express Highway, right?" The last sentence was directed at Yellow, who blinked innocently.

"Oh no, the Highway will bring us there in an hour. That's no way to enjoy summer. Rather, we'll be taking the Country Roads- it should take us maybe three hours."

She smiled, and the sound of Red's head hitting the metal of the car door indicated that the brawn of the _Shitennou _had fainted.

Green sighed, bonking his head on the steering wheel.

God spare him.

*

Three excruciating hours later, the quartet found themselves at Yellow's resort near Island Six, several miles away from Resort Gorgeous.

"Can we just leave Red in the car until he wakes up? He deserves it, for fainting on me," Green grumbled acidly. Yellow laughed.

"Why so bitter, Green-love? Come, let's get ready. I have this fabulous beach party planned- all the greatest criminal minds will be attending, and I'm so excited!"

The blonde had one arm linked with Blue's, and soon the two women were chattering excitedly, happily working out the details of the beach party.

Green prayed a silent prayer and lugged the luggage up to the rooms, muttering and swearing under his breath.

The heat was sweltering and he really wanted an ice cold beer.

Almost as if she read his mind, Yellow grabbed his arm, grinning in that fake, sugary-sweet way.

"There's beer and chips in the kitchen, Green. You can leave Red here for all I care, but make sure you're at the party tonight. Okay?"

"Yeah. Sure."

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, allowing her to giggle. Sighing heavily he tumbled into the kitchen, ready to drown his sorrows in a mug of beer and potato chips.

*

That night, the part was a myriad of disco lights, exotic food and drink, and Green felt mildly terrified.

Gathered at the beach house were well-known criminal masterminds- technological criminal, and Green's sister's boyfriend, Bill Masaki, his protégé Celio and Daisy Oak herself, the head of Team Rocket, one of the_ Shitennou's_ associates.. Scott, one of the best scammers in the world, Volkner, the head of a mysterious Sinnoh cult, and many others famed for their criminal ingenuity.

"Green darling, how have you been doing? I hear business is booming," Daisy crooned, a margarita in one hand, her other draped around her brother's neck.

Green paled considerably, but in the dark cascade of the night she didn't notice.

"It has. My pay has now increased, and we're making many new advancements with our technology. What about ya?"

"We're good. If the _Shitennou_ see a spike in profits, we're also benefited. And Bill just created the cutest virus- it's called Dancing Psyduck!"

And as his sister rambled on, updating him on her life- which honestly, he didn't really need to know the details of, he half dozed off, the beer in his hand the only thing keeping him awake.

Yellow was engaged in conversation with Volkner, her hand tracing patterns on his chest. If they vanished towards midnight, Blue would have to put the second story of the seaside bungalow on 'out-of-bounds'.

Red and Celio were playing beach volleyball, with Riley and Flint, two members of the inner circle of Volkner's cult. And the resident femme fatale was flitting around, flirting and chatting.

"-Green, sweetie, Bill proposed to me a month ago-"

The young man spewed out his beer, coughing. His eyes met his sister's.

"Bill _what_?"

"He proposed, sweetie! We're getting married in three weeks- it'll be a Summer Wedding, just the way I've always wanted it to be! Oh, it's wonderful!"

"Yes Daisy, I know."

"You're gonna be an uncle soon! I went to the gynaecologist yesterday, and he told me I'm three months pregnant! Isn't that fabulous!"

Green spluttered, choked and glared with murderous intent.

"Daisy, you're _what_?"

His sister giggled, laughing.

"I'm pregnant, you dear."

Oh, he was going to kill Bill Masaki.

*

The next morning, Blue sipped her tea as Green tumbled into the kitchen, looking bruised and battered.

"Green, you're an idiot."

"He's an overprotective brother," Red chuckled, earning himself a hard kick from the brains of the _Shitennou_. Wincing, he added, "Where's Yellow?"

Green and Blue exchanged glances.

"Red, did you not notice that Volkner's boots are still in the hallway?" they asked in unison.

Red made an 'O' shape with his mouth.


End file.
